You’ll want to keep your options open until you know which person is right for you. If you’ve been pursuing other dating opportunities, you might not want to cut them off right away just because you’ve had a good first date with someone you like. It takes a while to let go of other options.If you’re interested in each other enough to do this ten times, you’re headed for exclusivity. You can only add an encounter to your tally if it involves going out together–for coffee, dinner, a walk, or anything that involves getting to know each other on more than a physical level.

Going straight to each other’s houses doesn’t count. Key to the ten date rule is the definition of “date.” Hooking up doesn’t count. You may see each other ten times, but formal dates? Probably not. If you’re going out with a guy who’s only interested in sex, you won’t make it to a tenth date. This is in keeping with the long-standing theory of the ten date rule, which states that it takes straight men ten dates with a woman to know that he wants a relationship. Studies suggest that 39% of couples declare their relationship at around the three-month mark, which works out to approximately 10-12 dates if you’re seeing each other once a week. However, the 10 date rule exists to give a guideline for where you should be after a certain amount of time. Even though this is not a one-size-fits-all formula, there are reasons to follow it. Some couples never do, while others establish monogamy after only a couple of dates.

There is no “normal” length of time for a couple to become exclusive.

The ten times rule